Control

The leadership of a congregation, whether as a group or as an individual pastor, steers a narrow course between “too controlling” and “too loose.”

A congregation in which every activity and meeting must be personally cleared with the top leadership or with the pastor will soon encounter problems. First, the leadership will overwork itself, and will never be able to keep up with the task of reviewing everything; promising new ministries will not be able to launch. Secondly, new leadership will not be grown from within the ranks, because there are no opportunities; delegation is more than a labor-saving technique: it is the nursery for future leaders. Third, errors will necessarily result, because the leadership has placed itself, despite humble intentions, into a position of papal-like infallibility; if it demands final review on any new project, it is, de facto, the final word in judgment, and being merely human, will eventually err. Finally, an atmosphere of control, not “the freedom of the Gospel,” will prevail. The New Testament speaks warningly against those who seek to take away, even if unintentionally, the freedom which Jesus acquired for us.

At the other extreme, a congregation which exercises no “quality control” fails to use the written Word of God, and the rationality which God gives to humans, as measuring device to examine both new and on-going activities. In such a congregation, not only will heresies find fertile ground, but incompetent ministry leaders, and poorly designed ministries, will hurt (again unintentionally) people — the people who came to them for help.

How then to exercise “quality control” without becoming “controlling”? I don’t have all the answers to that question, but I have a few ideas. First, as in all matters, the written Word takes the lead. The congregation does not gather around its leaders, but it gathers around the Word of God: both the Living Word, Who is Jesus, Who is found to be physically and bodily present in the bread and wine, and Who places the Holy Spirit into us; and the Written Word, which speaks to us again and again, ever fresh. Second, we must avoid the extremes of top-down authoritarianism on the one hand, and bottom-up democratic congregationalism on the other hand. Leadership must be clear about its mission and purpose, and willing to delegate. Members must be willing to acknowledge the authority of various positions in the organizational chart.

Reconciliation is the Goal

Because conflict is a necessary ingredient in a healthy congregation, the goal in its process is not winning, but reconciliation. If you and I disagree, we want to work to find a manner of honest restoration of friendly relations between us.

We cannot simply pretend that the disagreement doesn’t exist; we can’t simply agree “not to mention it.” We must apologize to each other for times when we didn’t carry out our conflict in a loving manner; we must seek and offer forgiveness.

The goal, or the answer, is not for someone to simply go away. The best answer to a congregation’s problems is not for “that person to leave” or “those people to attend a different congregation.” The best answer is for all the members to stay and learn to face their conflicts directly. If I leave, or if you leave, we both will have lost an opportunity to grow in godly wisdom.

So if there are problems in a congregation, don’t leave, and don’t wish for anyone else to leave. Don’t act as if everything is fine, because it isn’t. Acknowledge the conflict, publicly and corporately. Talk lovingly with those who disagree with you; talk about the disagreement. If you are a leader, facilitate such discussions, and if anyone wants to leave the congregation, urge them to stay, even those, and especially those, with whom you personally disagree.

Reconciliation is better than breaking fellowship.

Free For Conflict, Not Free From Conflict

A Christian congregation is, among other things, a forum for discussion. This is not its primary purpose, but it is an essential activity. As a Christ-centered group, it must provide a “safe” atmosphere in which conflicting ideas to be expressed.

God desires that His people live in harmony (Ps. 133:1), yet He sees conflict, not as the opposite of harmony, but rather as the path to harmony (Prov. 27:17). Therefore, conflict is a necessary part of a Christian congregation.

When Christians engage in emotionally healthy and loving conflict, God is at work, maturing His people. When Christians engage in manipulative and shaming conflict, the devil is trying to weaken the Body of Christ.

The leadership of a congregation can facilitate civil engagement of conflicting ideas in discussion. This means that, at times, congregational leadership moves into a “facilitating” role. Wisdom and judgment are required to know when the leaders should be more facilitative, and when they should lead in a directional sense. In general, leaders should move out of the facilitative role when there is an issue of doctrinal truth, when a clearly unloving behavior harms individuals, or when their fiduciary duty toward God as caretakers of His people demands decisive action.

There should not be an effort to silence or suppress conflict, but rather there should be attempts to work conflict through to a resolution, and to reconciliation. Therefore, leaders should encourage all manner of discussion.