We cannot simply pretend that the disagreement doesn’t exist; we can’t simply agree “not to mention it.” We must apologize to each other for times when we didn’t carry out our conflict in a loving manner; we must seek and offer forgiveness.
The goal, or the answer, is not for someone to simply go away. The best answer to a congregation’s problems is not for “that person to leave” or “those people to attend a different congregation.” The best answer is for all the members to stay and learn to face their conflicts directly. If I leave, or if you leave, we both will have lost an opportunity to grow in godly wisdom.
So if there are problems in a congregation, don’t leave, and don’t wish for anyone else to leave. Don’t act as if everything is fine, because it isn’t. Acknowledge the conflict, publicly and corporately. Talk lovingly with those who disagree with you; talk about the disagreement. If you are a leader, facilitate such discussions, and if anyone wants to leave the congregation, urge them to stay, even those, and especially those, with whom you personally disagree.
Reconciliation is better than breaking fellowship.
